Saturday, February 28, 2009
Legend shall speak
Of sacrifice at world’s end
The wind sails over the water’s surface
Quietly, but surely - 'Loveless' Act IV
Ok, frankly speaking, I do not have any idea how to translate the above phrase using my own thoughts. Nevertheless, I will try. Pardon me if what I am saying does not make sense.
Legend? What legend? Which legend speaks of sacrifice at world's end? Perhaps, maybe when I defeated Fate, I will be known as a legend among the minions of Fate? When that happen, I guess the only sacrifice that I will speak of would be the grand sacrifice of Hegemons of Fate. And perhaps, when that happen, my world might have already been shattered.
And every single time I fall from the high battleground against Fate high up in the Evening Sky, be it a lost, a win, or a draw... The strong yet gentle wind will sail over the water surface, catching me and bringing me to dry lands, oh so quietly, but surely - never failing to ensure my safety.
Come to think of it, I started wondering, what is this wind? What is this wind that keeps me alive all the time?
When I know what the wind is, I couldn't help but to smile, yet cry at the same time. But what happen when this wind no longer sail over the watery grave that I will fall into after every battle against Fate?
Without this wind, I wont exist.
Without what is in this wind, the wind will not have the power to lift me up and bring me to dry lands.
But I know, this wind is subsiding fast.
Just hang on a little longer, oh the dear wind that supported me all these times.
I want to keep fighting till my very last breath.
And I thank you for watching over me among the stars.
And I thank you for sending the wind to ensure my safety.
And I miss you...
My 'Goddess'.
10:01 PM
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
My soul, corrupted by vengeance
Hath endured torment, to find the end of the journey
In my own salvation
And your eternal slumber - 'Loveless' Act IV
I know I am still young, and have not experience the brutality of the world yet. But many a times, Fate have brought me to the very gates of Underworld for 'visit'. And all these times, I survived and learn many things. Of all these things I learn and have embedded them into my soul, I learnt 'Vengeance'.
The very word 'Vengeance' already tells people that its not a good word. And for people and my dear friends whom english aint that good, you guys will know the word as 'Revenge'.
If you going to think I have a specify guy or girl I hate, fear not. I will forgive and forget. Its not worth hating humans when I know clearly that when they grow up and faced at least 10% of what I have gone through, they will change.
Perhaps my only enemies are Fate and my nightmares. Just yesterday after I fall into my royal slumber, I was brutally awaken by the same nightmare all over again - a nightmare where I, was left alone in the battlefield, surrounded by enemy forces. I was then brutally stab by knifes, slash by swords, pierce by spears, bash by hammers, chop by axe, shot by muskets and fire arrows, crush by flying boulders from trebuchets and finally, trampled by horses and elephants. - sounds really crazy aint it. No its not.
I could feel the pain coarsing through my body for each respective blows done to me, as if I experienced them before. The strangest thing about this dream is that at the end where my vision turns black, my vision will switch to a view where it can see my body, and wings started to grow as I was lifted into the sky. And this is where I will return to the real world and awakes from the dream. I will not be able to move my body, not even my eyes, as if I was really dead. Only after a few minutes, I will return to my royal slumber again.
As for what Fate did to me, I do not have to say. Its all stated on the previous posts. And when I mean Fate, I do not mean Fatesealer - a nickname of a cosplayer I know.
All these torment I endured. For what? Endure for the sake of enduring? NO! I endure all these torment for the sake of finding and reaching the end of the journey in my own salvation - my own dreams, goals and ambitions - and to see to it through that my enemies falls into an eternal slumber...
Fate's eternal slumber.
9:16 PM
Sunday, February 22, 2009
My friend, the fates are cruel
There are no dreams, no honor remains
The arrow has left the bow of the goddess - 'Loveless' Act IV
Seriously, how many of us truely experience the twist of fate? By this, I do not mean WWE's Matt Hardy's Finish move 'Twist of Fate'. Have fate every twist your life from a upside down world of horrors and bad luck to a normal world filled with blessings? If you did, lucky you, for I am the complete opposite of what you experienced.
In this world, this era, there is dreams, but how many of us actually consider our dreams to be worth chasing after? For example, people's dream job. The problem with people is that they are blinded by money, thinking that money is the cure to every problems in this ever growing society. If you earn big bucks, you get to live a very luxurious life, but will you be happy working at that big money job when deep down inside you, you know that what you really want is actually to become a soccer player? What about your happiness? We are humans, not robots! To survive, yes I know. But what is the difference between living a luxurious life, yet unhappy, and a normal life, doing what you really wanted? You will be nothing more than a living dead/robot doing things you dislike for the sake of money.
Honor is... A word that no longer means anything in this society. Its all man for himself. I pride myself of being a special person, for I live my life with honor and chivalry. But as time goes by, you will realise, honor and chivalry no longer have a stand in this era - this modern society. We men (and women) who followed through the code of honor and chivalry are vanishing because of how society, and how life works in this modern day. Honor and chivalry are trampled upon by the cruel society, where there is no room for such values. The only value in this world now, is nothing but money, money and money. So why do I still follow the codes? My friend once asked. - Because I want to be a special... I want to be a man who is different from the rest.
We no longer are in a comfort zone. The answer to the future that hold us is simply how we walk the path of our lives NOW. So my friends, wake up and face this society! If we do not work hard now, we will suffer in the future! If we still refuse accept the helping hands given to each and everyone of us to help paving a path towards a bright future, we will lead a dark one and regret it for the rest of our lives! - We, the arrows, have left the bow of the goddess and into the heart of the Fate's territory!
9:41 PM
Monday, February 16, 2009
My friend, do you fly away now?
To a world that abhors you and I?
All that awaits you is a somber morrow
No matter where the winds may blow
My friend, your desire
Is the bringer of life, the gift of the goddess
Even if the morrow is barren of promises
Nothing shall forestall my return - 'Loveless' Act III
Now I say, friend. We suffered long enough. Do you want to fly away to somewhere? Somewhere... A new world that will shelter us from Fate that is menacingly chasing us down, wanting to eat us alive? If you were to remain here; in this world ruled by Fate, all that awaits you is nothing but anger, sorrow, and hatred no matter where the winds that carries them away may blow.
My friend, your desire, is the bringer of life, the gift of the goddess - My dearest friend, your desire, is love itself. Love is a gift granted to us humans by the Goddess, but it never came within our grasp, no matter how much we tries to reach for it... Fate is keeping the gift locked inside the deepest cell it ever have, and plays around with it and use it against us.
Even if the morrow is barren of promises, nothing shall forestall my return - Even when the old world ruled by Fate is now a land without hope, dreams, nor love, nothing will stop my return to rebel against it. I will return; with an army or not, to bring a swift death to Fate itself, and free the hopes, dreams and love trap in each seperated dungeons, renewing the old world.
This translation took me a few hours, and yet it turn out rather crappy. I aint no literature or english wiseman, so dont expect me to know what to write. The last english lesson i had was 3 years ago, during sec 4. Now that I am in ITE learning Hair Fashion and Design, there is no more english lessons where I can attend. The only way to improve my english is to constantly speak english and read more books.
And yet again today in class, a new crisis is form.
Just that this time, its more serious.
All these happen because of a stubbornly immature person with a very bad mouth in our class, and a person who can forsake a friendship between him and another guy for a girl that he required that another guy's assistance to get.
But yeah, I cant be bothered.
As long as those shitstorms dont find their way into my territories, nothing will happen.
However, if they do cross over to my territories... I will do by the Art of War, and crush all oppressors that seek to destroy the Utopia I hope to achieve in class.
10:46 PM
Thursday, February 12, 2009
There is no hate, only joy
For you are beloved by the goddess
Hero of the dawn, Healer of worlds
Dreams of the morrow hath the shattered soul
Pride is lost
Wings stripped away, the end is nigh - 'Loveless' Act II
There is no hate, only joy. - For people who is looking forward to celebrate _____'s Day with their loved ones, there is only joy. And for people like us who dont get to celebrate the real meaning to _____'s Day, we are filled with hatred.
People who are in relationships now are truly beloved by the 'Goddess'. - Coz God gives them the opportunity be loved. We dont. We will never get the chance.
But they certainly aint 'Hero' nor 'Healer'. We people that experienced many heavy emotional losses in many aspects of life are the true Hero and Healer. We are always there to help 'heal' a friend maintain their relationship all the way till they are married. We are always there to 'save the day' for pitiful idiots who dont know how to maintain a relationship.
Let's use the main title of the poem to address people who are like me. Lets call us 'Loveless'.
Our dreams of the loving future stop out already shattered soul, because the dream will never come true, for our fate is predestined to be this way. We fought against Fate, but we will realise, we never really did win, only prevented serious damage to us. With the damage, our souls are left shattered.
And all this, chains up and literally kill us. We pride ourselves at being able to maintain someone else's relationship, yet we lost pride at ourselves more than anything else when we are not even given a chance at it.
All these is like stripping out wings away when we are flying, thus sending us down, crashing onto the ground. Some lives, but heavily injured. Some died, and some are never seen again.
So is this our fate?
That does the my version of translation of how I view this poem incomparison to my love life. Pretty sad isn't it? But what can I do? Give up all hope?
I lost all my soldiers, my generals and my great war machines fighting against Fate. Apparently, Sun Tzu's Art of War dont apply when fighting against Fate. And finally, Im beaten at my own forte - Warfare.
Amist all these sadness, school is fun. But its horrible the moment school ends, for there is nothing to do. Will talk about school next time, nothing interesting I can post about for now.
10:07 PM
Monday, February 9, 2009
Infinite in mystery is the gift of the goddess
We seek it thus, and take to the sky
Ripples form on the water’s surface
The wandering soul knows no rest. - 'Loveless' Act I
Everything is so shit.
When I realise how things weren't how it seems to be, I couldn't control the anger in me. I feel so useless for not being able to realise what is happening.
And when I did happen...
I am already in a trap that I cant get out, because I am outsmarted by the Goddess in the strategy, strategem, and tactics that I first taught her:
Sun Tzu's Art of War: Know yourself and your enemy, then you will never lose.
In this case, im the enemy, and the Goddess being 'yourself'. The Goddess, who understands my every single thought and my every single daily way of thinking, have come out with a perfect plan that wont give me a single chance to retaliate until someone from my side who is very calculative found out something - over the course of two years.
And over the course of two years, I suffered two depressions. Yet again, this was in the plan all along. Emotional pain will cause my memory to fade away faster - this is exactly what the Goddess wanted.
And now, with a calculative friend of mine whose intellect can be just as good as Zhuge Liang(only if he stop being such a weak[in many aspects] guy), decided to prob into it further with one thought in mind - The Goddess did not die.
When I begin to force my brain to think like a strategist - to counter a counter strategy with a counter-counter strategy - it is all too late.
Hell yeah im pissed. Not because I did not do what I preach, but because I lost sight of purpose in life back then and thus shutting off any serious thoughts about anything, which result me in unable to think like a strategist like I always am.
Overall, I felt weak. The Goddess have been better than me in most aspects of life, yet I lost to her in my own forte - Strategies & Strategems.
If the Goddess is beside me now, I will be laughing at my own foolish mistake. But she aint here, and neither is there any hope in the search of the Goddess, for she is dead and alive at the same time - thus 'erasing' her existence from my life, and completing of the perfect master plan that uses both strategies and strategems that she never succeed against me before.
Now tell me Goddess if you are reading this.
Should I laugh, or should I cry?
If you are out there, please respond to my calls for you.
I just want to see you again.
8:05 PM
Thursday, February 5, 2009
When the war of the beasts brings about the world’s end
The goddess descends from the sky
Wings of light and dark spread afar
She guides us to bliss, her gift everlasting... - 'Loveless', Prologue
Lol ok, now most people aint going to know what the above poem meant. Its for Final Fantasy 7 hardcore fans like me. :D
I am still very well addicted to whatever Genesis says about 'Loveless'. >D
I have not been updating for the pass few days, reason being im rather busy and I rather not blog about whatever happened.
But today is different. Again, I felt as if the class is really like a class.
Today's lesson are simple, shampooing all these I already memorise them in my head, just that a few stupid habits of mine accidentally trigger Ms Hong's slight anger. T.T
Im sorry Ms Hong! *bows in apology*
Then PCS lessons was chaotic. >D
A lot of people cant seem to understand Ms Robinson's british accent, which I can grasp completely, not without effort though. xD
A lot of people keep asking teacher to repeat what she say, coz must write down on the paper, pretending to be the receptionist writing a msg for the busy stylist. :D
Its easy for me. :D
The roleplay is even more fun. I did it with ease, but stagger at a part where they say "thank you (customer name) for blah blah blah"
I go say 'customer name' out. wtf.
Stupid mistake, but overall, teacher say I was smooth in talking and was impressed! :D
MUAHAHAHA!!!!!
This is the effect of watching discovery channel, listening to those ang moh chimologies which is made even more chim with their already chim voice and accent. :D
I think maybe I got the unfair advantage?
Working in Pastamania at harbourfront, I sometimes tend to customers that speaks in different english accent. At first, I aint use to it, but it somehow feels easier to understand because they are frequent customers and always says "you are welcome! Thank you very much! Thats very nice/lovely of you."
Slowly breaking their accent down and you will know its very easy to catch what they are saying. :D
For now, I will just end the post. :D
Be sure to catch more phrases of 'Loveless' in the upcoming posts! :3
9:20 PM
